The Most Difficult Surrender Possible!
Nothing like looking down both barrels of a loaded shotgun to bring everything into perspective.
March 18, 2014
As the momentum of fulfilling prophecy continues to increase, it sometimes feels exactly like that, face to face with one’s mortality while looking at the loaded weapon in front of you. And the perspective I discovered while questioning my plan of action when faced with life or death circumstances, well I wasn’t altogether pleased with the memories that flooded my brain, there were too many regrets and “should’v’s”.
I have been taking daily stock of my priorities; evaluating, readjusting, and repenting. Making definite time for daily Bible reading, prioritizing my morning prayers and devotionals to the point that I now do my “morning” prayers as I go to bed for the night, getting a very early start on them. Why? Because the way things are going, most of my mornings I’m being shot out of a cannon with no time to spare and the distractions are tough competition. It works for me, I sleep better knowing that I’m braced for the coming day and that I’m falling asleep as a forgiven person with a clean slate since I begin my prayers with asking for forgiveness. God is ok with it too, He’s not legalistic about our prayers; what hour of the day that we pray at is inconsequential, the point is to pray, to communicate with Him.
As I go for my morning run I mentally and often verbally put on my armor, (Ephesians 6:12-18) then I move into praise and worship, then continue to expand my plans and my responses for the inevitable hard times coming ever so quickly. The plan for the inevitable is what brought me to my knees and tearfully, mid-run today.
I had moved into the “I want to’s” in my conversation with God. “I want to be a faithful servant, Lord. Please help me to be steadfast. I want to surrender my all to You” … when it hit me.
It was as though my heart was being pulled from my body. Oh, God, NO! I so desperately need to be close to my children, to have them near me during the tribulations to come! They need me, even though they are adult children, and I most certainly need them! Oh, God this is the hardest surrender ever! But I surrender my all to You … I … and I choked on the words and broke down right there in the middle of the block, only a few miles into the run.
This was a commitment that I could not make lightly. Yet I knew that He had inspired my thinking to “go there”. Surrendering my all.
That meant to surrender my children; my parentage, my rights, my preference to be with them.
If I “bug out” when all the stuff hits the fan, that means going it alone. My kids don’t agree with how the world is shaping up and my interpretation of the events. They are still of the mindset that there’s still plenty of time; every generation thought they were the generation that would usher in the antichrist and all the horrors that that brings. Surely people thought Hitler was the antichrist and that WW2 was “it”, etc etc. I often worry that they are simply in denial.
During times of “miscellaneous” prayer, I felt that the Lord confirmed to me that my kids would not be participating in the end time evangelism that I will be participating in and that He would deal with them on His terms, for me to back off from trying to persuade them otherwise.
This was the first stage of surrendering my kids and I hadn’t realized it until today. See how God brings us gently to a difficult crossroad with such kindness?
One of my sons will be getting married this June and it has crossed my mind repeatedly that we just may not make it to June without a significant event changing the lives of every American. How would my son respond to my absence from his wedding?! Wondering if I should mail his gift early “just in case” since the wedding will be in another state 18 hours from where I live. Many sleepless nights on that one, I can assure you!
Yet, that was the second stage of surrendering my children and I hadn’t realized it until today.
So, am I at stage three in surrendering my children to God’s capable Hands? And if so, are there only three stages? I honestly do not know.
It is painful and even frightening. If ever there was a time for family to be together …
Ah, but bottom line I need to ask myself: just how much do I trust my Lord and Savior?
I’m getting just a hint of what Jesus may have felt on that cross, when the sins of the world were placed on Him. When He was separated from God the Father, His Father, a literal part of Him, by those sins; the anguish and loneliness He must have experienced! “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” or “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
My heart goes out to parents with younger children. I pray that this post will encourage you to prepare. To prepare your heart, emotions, and to instruct your children on what to do and Who to call upon should the stuff hit the fan while you are at work or they at school, separated from their parents and their security. PLEASE prepare your family while you are able to! Do not wait for circumstances to reveal themselves, anything can happen at any time. Between mother nature, nations with crazy powers ruling over them, and spiritual adversities, anything can happen. They don’t need to know the horrible details if they are young, but they do need to know that their heavenly Father will guide and protect them in emergency situations when they can’t be with their family.
Parents, prepare your spiritual lives. There has never been a greater time of need to be in-tune with God than now. We all need to surrender to Him while it’s relatively easy to do, in preparation for really dire circumstances.
I’m learning that I can’t place situations or people in His Hands if I am are still holding onto them, as painful as it is to let go.
God’s love has no limits. He demonstrated that through Jesus surrendering to the humility of human existence and to the agony of the cross, revealing the fact that God’s love has no limits. The additionally cool thing is, He loves us all … individually and equally; He does not play favorites.
Do you know and experience His unending and faithful love towards and for you? It’s not complicated becoming an adopted child of the King of kings, Lord of lords. I invite you to surrender your all. Difficult, but not impossible through Him Who strengthens us:
Dear Holy God, because I am not perfect, I am a sinner that needs forgiveness and I ask You to forgive me. Please remove all deception that I have embraced knowingly or unknowingly so that I hear You only. I believe You are Savior and Lord Who shed Your Blood and died to pay my sin-debt, and rose from the dead; You live forever. I turn from (repent) my sins and invite You, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, God the Messiah to come into my heart and life as Savior and Lord. Please, help me to glorify You in all I say and do. I want to trust and follow You as my Lord and personal Savior. I need Your protections and directions throughout my daily life, help me. In the all-powerful Name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth I pray. Amen.
Get a Bible; perhaps begin in the book of Mark or John in the New Testament. Get to know your God, Savior. Did you know that He deeply desires relationship with you, God of the universe? Get involved with a Bible-believing and doctrine-pure church, get baptized as a sign of commitment to your heavenly Father God, the triune God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob Who changes not.